Sister Reminder blogs

Ask anyone who their favorite person in the world is, and 9 times out of 10 you’ll hear… “My Mom.” Moms are synonomous with feelings of love, comfort, protection and just downright fuzzy wuzzies. And especially at this time of year, with Mother’s Day just around the corner, mom is on the brain.

In a hadith, Abu Huraira (RA) reported that a person came to the Prophet (SAW) and said, “O Allah’s Messenger, who amongst the people is most worthy of my love and respect? The Prophet (SAW) replied, “Your mother.” The man asked, “And then who?” The Prophet (SAW) again answered, “Your mother.” The man asked one more time and received the same answer. When the man asked the question a fourth time, the Prophet (SAW) answered, “Your father.” (Bukhari, Muslim)

Islam has elevated mothers to the highest status, and our mothers are to be revered, adored, and respected. After all, Prophet Muhammad (SAW) has said “Paradise lies under the feet of your mother.”

Many of us are all too familiar with these hadiths, and yet in our practical lives, we sometimes fall short of being the ideal son or daughter. We get too caught up in the Western notion of Mother’s Day and celebrating our moms on this day. But let’s just think about it. Did our moms spend just one day out of the year celebrating us? Did she say, ‘oh let me buy such and such things and love and appreciate my son/daughter on only one particular day of the year?’ Or did she sacrifice her each and every day, her each and every waking and sleeping moment, tending to our needs and our happiness, if only for that one beaming smile we gave her in return? Yes indeed, Mother’s Day is not only on the second Sunday of May each year, it is everyday!

And this Paradise we’re looking to earn is easier to attain than we think. Just by doing simple things, we can show our moms how much we care and gain the pleasure of Allah SWT. Here are some simple ideas of how to find your Paradise under your mommy’s feet:

• Call your mom either everyday or several times a week. Even if you have nothing much to talk about, just the fact that you are checking in with her everyday shows that you care, and that is enough for her.
• When you go out shopping, if you remember something that your mom needs in her home, pick it up for her. You’ll save her a trip to the store and she will appreciate that you remembered.
• All of us love our mom’s home cooking, but sometimes when you go over to visit, instead of her cooking for you, you bring the meal instead.
• If it is feasible, take her to her doctor’s appointments and be involved in her health care. As our parents age, they need our physical help, even though sometimes they don’t want to admit it.
• Randomly surprise your mom with her favorite sweets, or chocolates or other goodies.
• Most importantly give of your time. Spend time with your mom and make that extra effort to fit her into your busy life. It doesn’t have to be any elaborately planned day; just a simple lazy Sunday afternoon chatting with mom over a cup of tea is priceless.
• And lastly, whenever you speak to her, speak with kindness and respect. Even if she may get angry with you, never be disrespectful. And as with any disagreement, always remember that there is no such thing as ‘pride’ when it comes to family.

And for those of you mommies with little ones, teach your children similar values. Spend time with them doing fun craft projects, creating artwork, playing games, baking, and reading to them. This quality time that you spend with them will be worth more than any toy or object you can buy. These will be the moments they will remember and look back and say, “my mom is the best.”

I would like to leave you with a small narration by Shaykh Bayazid Bastami, who said: “What I was searching to find in my purification, mortification, striving and servitude, I found in serving my mother. One night my mother woke up and asked me for a glass of water. I hurried to bring her some water. I searched around the house and there was no water in the container nor in the bucket. It was a cold night. I went outside to the spring to get some water. When I came back my mother was asleep. So I stayed beside her bed with the glass of water. Near dawn she woke up and upon hearing my story she took the water, drank it, and prayed for me. In that moment, I found what my heart was looking for.”

Sr Alif blogs

Sometimes we get so caught up in the consumer world that we forget the simplest things in life can make children love learning. As educators, we are bombarded by different educational companies to buy ready made games and puzzles for our classroom learning centers. I sometimes wish that the walls of the classroom could come off, and the children are able to play  in the natural world of Allah’ Creation. The teachable moments are priceless yet the cost is FREE.

One beautiful, sunny morning, I decided to take my daughter to the park. We packed our basket with little goodies to snack on (and for the birds too), and we walked to the park. As we strolled down the park, we stopped and collected leaves and flowers, and put them in a plastic bag. We fed the geese, and sat down for a rest in front of a tree that almost looked as if it was prostrating. we watched and marveled how Allah(SWT) created all this living things so perfectly. We collected pebbles and threw them in the pond, and to my child’s delight, it would make rings in the water. Our next stop was my girl’s favorite place- Play ground with sand. She played with the sand with her bucket and shovel, as well as used her sifter to find any pebble treasures. She flew on the swing like an airplane, and slid on the slide like she was in an amusement park. Finally, we spread the maidah on the grass, washed our hands, and feasted on our peanut butter and jelly sandwich and some juicy grapes.

What did this child learn from her day at the park? Built new vocabulary, made AB patterns with pebbles, and wrote her name on the sand.

Allah’s Learning Center: sand, pebbles, plants, and birds are the important tools of learning just as much as classroom centers filled with blocks and puzzles.

Share with us what you do with your child outside the traditional classroom!

Umm Professional blogs

The phone is not the boss of you!  Who ever would have thought that a little bitty piece of plastic could hold so much power? We all have a love- like relationship with our phones.  We want to reach and check with the baby sitter on our children’s status but we don’t want our secretaries to find us to update us with more work.  We adore the fact that we can call grandparents to wish them Eid Mubarak over the miles, but we don’t want the phone ringing and spoiling our intimate dinners.  It’s great that you can read random text messages privately in a conference that your husband sends telling you how much he cherishes you, and no one will know as you blush silently.  Still there are days when the phone can start eating into your time.  Here are some nifty moves to make sure tiny smiles stay put on faces even when the office calls.

1. Make a back up of the numbers you have on your phone or sim card. Should your colleague happen to splash cappuccino over your cell phone while illustrating a point at a meeting, or you drop it in a puddle while getting out of a cab- at least you know your important clientele can still be reached when you need to confirm your next business lunch. There are various ways of doing this; you could download the information directly from your cell phone to the computer (refer to your service/phone providers for specifics), save phone numbers on your sim card (in countries where it applies) or get yourself a blackberry- it allows you to sync your contact list to your email address book.

2. Keeping an extra charger in your car or at the office is a small way to make sure you don’t hit panic mode should your phone run out off juice just before your next presentation.

3. Use the phone to let your child talk to his/her friends and family.  It’s a great way to teach telephone etiquette.  First try doing a trial run by demonstrating how to respond when picking up the call, asking about others, and then being clear as to who you want to speak to.  Ask the child to model your language.  Discuss with them what they want to include in the conversation, and then teach them patiently how to dial.  It may actively stifle moaning if they get involved and don’t feel left out.

4. A good way to maintain peace at home and arrest those rolling eyes is to simply ‘ask’ if you may take the call.  Your husband may not concede every time, but the world will not come to an abrupt stop with one missed phone call.  It may not seem obvious at that time but there may be a lot of stress that could be diffused by simply not answering that call immediately.

5. Leave the phone at home when you’re out with the kids.  I started doing this when my office kept calling me pre and post office hours.  I love my job and I like taking those calls but that means they eat into my child’s ‘Us’ time.  Instead I leave the phone at home while I drop my child to school because I’m not tempted to ‘fix’ things that my office throws at me early in the morning.  Anything important can wait till I drop her.  My 4 year old used this time to memorize mummy’s phone number, tell me about her dreams and learn counting the different colored cars on the way to kindergarten.  On our way back I heard who brought the most interesting lunch, and whose clips were very sparkly. Precious moments like these won’t just happen, you need to allocate time so your child can talk knowing she won’t be interrupted.

6. Use the phone to set an alarm 10 mins before each Salah time, download surahs, and surf the web for Islamic information.  Get technology to help you come closer to your Deen, in your free time.

Tell us of your own techniques to avoid a battle of the babble!

Sr Alif blogs

I took this time to help my five year old reflect upon the many wonders of Allah’s creation. We discussed the changes taking place around us. We examined the leaves in particular….how each leaf had a unique shape (and color) in spite of it coming from the same tree. We compared these leaves to leaves  from other trees. We noticed how each type of tree had its own unique shape. We tied this in with Allah’s 99 names and how each quality of Allah’s is reflected in each one of His names. We focused on the name Al Mussawir or the Bestower of forms /Shape Maker (in kid language). Even if you live in a country that does not experience the wonders of fall, you can still discuss leaf shapes and other shapes around you that Allah has created- shapes of trees, or shapes of fruit and vegetables, etc. We came home and made a book about what we learned.  I have included the template so you can do this with your child, InshAllah.

Allah is Al Mussawir Booklet Download Here.  Remember to print it back to back before you hand it to your child to color.

We placed different textures under each page to get a different look. We placed actual leaves under each leaf shape to get a leaf imprint. We placed the vegetables and fruit on natural surfaces to see what texture we could get. Do you notice the leaf imprints in these pictures?

My child left this activity knowing and understanding one of Allah’s glorious names. Alhumdulillah, mission accomplished!

Sr Alif blogs

Let’s admit it,  the candies, costumes, parties, all equate to fun in the minds of our innocent kids. Even the best behaved children can be tempted by the lure of piles of candies all in one night.  Older kids delight in nothing more than fake hands, and  bloody eyeballs,  scary tales of mummies, monsters and ghosts.  It isn’t easy to compete for their attention during this time. How do sunnah savvy mothers combat this tricky holiday situation looming over us?  Here are some ways to enjoy the autmn activities without joining the “Trick Or Treat” bandwagon.  Share the activities  as a family, school, or masjid…. your imagination is the limit!

• Fall Carnival or Festival – Organize Fall Fun Fair or Fall Fun Party where you can have carnival like atmosphere with fall themes (gourd tossing, hay rides, animal petting, pumpkin painting, candy apple making)
• Pumpkin or Apple Picking – Go for a fall field trip and explore Allah’s natural phenomoms
• Pumpkin Fundraiser- Have children grow a pumpkin patch or other fall vegetables and muslim youth can sell the fall vegetables and the profit can go to charity organization of their choice. It’s a lot better than wasting your pumpkin on a Jack-O-Lantern.
• Have an Apple or Pumpkin Bake off Contest with the older girls.
• Leaf Hunting and Collage Art – Have children reflect on Allah’s infinite beauty by collecting different leaves and making collage.
• Write a book report on the origin of Halloween-Older Students will be surprised with some of the information!
• Islamic History Plays- Have kids dress up and act out scenes from Islamic History. It could be another Fundraiser as well, as they can sell tickets too!

We’d love to hear what your creative ideas are for this time of the year!   Let us know your favorite activities this season!

Sister Reminder blogs

“Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat!” It’s that time of year again when many parents are deciding whether or not to have some “harmless” fun with their child by celebrating Halloween. Before we jump on the bandwagon, a quick history lesson is in order to rethink our actions.

Halloween is celebrated each year on October 31, and it originates from the Celtic Festival of honoring Samhain, the so called “lord of death”.  The ancient Celts believed that the border allowed spirits to pass into our world on this night. Ancestors were welcomed, whilst harmful spirits were warded off. It is believed that the need to ward off ghouls led them to wear costumes and masks. Their purpose was to disguise oneself as one of them and thus avoid harm. On All Hallows’ eve, the ancient Celts would place a skeleton on their window sill to represent the departed.

A pagan festival of the dead huh…to ward off evil spirits? Sounds really harmless and fun. So we convince ourselves that it’s ok…the kids just dress up and ask for candy…it’s just risk-free enjoyment! As Muslims we need to think about what kind of mixed messages we are giving our kids. Sure, little kids dressed up in costumes are cute to look at, but Santa and his elves look cute too… it doesn’t mean that we’re going to start celebrating Christmas! Not to mention capitalism working at its best. According to data by the National Retail Federation, Americans spent $5.8 billion in 2008 on Halloween items! I’m sure we can think of better things to do with our halal money!

Many of us will be surprised to learn that these beliefs and practices still take place today, and it is an active night for modern day witches and devil worshippers to offer their sacrifices and invoke their deities. In fact Halloween night is regarded as the high “Sabbath” for practicing witches.

From Islam, we know that in matters of deen, intention and action always go hand in hand. Similarly, if you look at any of your endeavors in life, logic and experience tells us that the formula for success is always correct intention followed by correct action. By celebrating non-Islamic holidays, we reinforce quite the opposite message. We essentially say to our kids that it’s ok to do what is incorrect, or what is ‘borderline’ behavior, as long as our intentions are ok. Our children look to us for values, it’s not ok to dress up on Halloween unless you want to set an example that may lead your child out of the fold of Islam.

“Has not the time arrived for the believers that their hearts in all humility should engage in the remembrance of Allah and of the Truth which has been revealed to them? That they should not become like those to whom was given the Book aforetime, but long ages passed over them and their hearts grew hard? For many among them are rebellious transgressors.”  (Qur’an 57:16)

“When it is said unto them, ‘Come to what Allah has revealed, come to the Messenger,’ they say, ‘Enough for us are the ways we found our fathers following.’ What! Even though their fathers were void of knowledge and guidance?”  (Qur’an 5:104)

I think that as a Muslim mom living in the West, I’m always trying to give my kids balance. I love enjoying time with my kids and having fun, but I try to put it in a framework that is Islamically acceptable. It can still be exciting and fun…the question just becomes… am I willing to be a little creative in finding alternatives for my kids that can be just as wonderful and fun? And we should make a conscious effort to educate our children early on, as to why we choose not to observe these and other traditions which are not based in Islam. By explaining things to children and not brushing it under the rug, it helps quell many of their questions and gives them a sense of identity. And you may be surprised to find that your kids will agree with you and will want to follow the path of Allah all on their own! Last year my son was six years old and he said to me, “So and so person celebrates Halloween, and you know what mom, it’s because he doesn’t understand Islam. We don’t have Halloween in Islam.” And I was just floored! Masha’Allah, like I said, you may just be surprised! All it takes is a little creativity, and the willingness to go that extra mile for our kids. Besides, who wants to celebrate the festival of the dead anyway?

Umm Professional blogs

We may be a new breed of women altogether.  The first generation of women born into such comfort, and equipped to pour our talents and resources into society.  We have our touch phones, tele-conferencing, webinars and may practice marine biology or environmental law.  We have the choice to stay home and raise good strong stock for our ummah, and we have the support to work and in diverse fields as role models for our children.  It’s an intriguingly complicated process that every professional Muslim needs to balance in order to sustain optimum contentment.  As much as our niyaah is to juggle everything meticulously – there are days (many days) when the office will ask you to pitch in more, your husband will need you to do some of his chores, the kids will meet a child with a bad attitude at school but not be able to verbalize it.

Life is all about tackling the challenges, but they have a sneaky way of catching dedicated professionals off guard.  Below are a few strategies that helped me keep things working well:

1. A well planned routine makes children feel at ease.  They feel more comfortable when some things are predictable, dependable and easy to achieve.  Busy mothers can rely on a lot more cooperation from little helpers if the child is clued in as to what the mother needs. Our typical routine? School pick-up, snack break in the car, play at the park/library meeting with a friend, home.  Once home, downtime with a toy /book, sit down to complete homework and attend the online Quran class, a warm bubbly bath, dinner, a snuggly story time and finally time to drift off to a dreamy state of sleep.  There were  days, even though I felt the fatigue in my muscles, the thought of which story we would read that evening and what discussion, giggles, cuddles and cuteness would follow, would put the spring back in my step.  Office calls would have to wait post 9pm when my kid is fast asleep.
2. Mention obligations and duties that you have towards your home and family at the office from day one. I’ve had a number of friends tell me how well that has worked for them.  The office is prepared by advance knowledge that you may need time off, they may keep in mind other people who can pick up your missed hours, and they know they can rely on you to be there for them when these obligations have been met.  Very often your boss or team leader will have similar responsibilities at home and be understanding as long as you are clear as to what it is.  An unwell mother, a child with short school hours, or a spouse who cannot pick up the child from school.  No one likes being caught at the tenth hour with a work load that you cannot complete.  Factor in all these points right at the beginning for harmony at the office place that spills into the home too.
3. Invest in great childcare. This is one of those times when penny pinching can cause sores.  If you want to perform well at work, you need to know that a capable, responsible, creative and sincere person is taking care of the most precious people in your life.  Take your time to interview baby sitters, check out playgrounds, and suss out teachers.  There is nothing worse than having to coax your child to go to school every morning while you hurry to make it to work.  If you have grandparents who vibe well with your kids, you are blessed.  Remember to thank them often and not to overload them with more than car pooling, story telling and cuddles.  Keep in mind their age and stamina.

Have you found anything that helped you strike that critical balance of home and work? Share here with other dedicated mothers who read our blog and spread your balancing techniques.